It’s time for the VIVO Indian Premier League, baby! The highly anticipated auctions on the 27th and 28th January would be paramount in helping Kings XI Punjab determine the munde who will represent sada Punjab. But with so many potential sher available, things could get overwhelming at the auction table.

We have the perfect man to clear the air a bit (no offence, *Delhi* Daredevils); the squad’s mentor and Director of Cricket Operations, Virender Sehwag. His analysis of the 16 marquee players are as straight as his sixes, firm and far.

1. Angrezon ka Hardik Pandya - Ben Stokes

A premium all-rounder who can make an impact with both the bat and the ball. Over to Sehwag.

Pros: He is a true match winner in my opinion. He will give you four overs with a good economy rate and can also score 50 in 20 balls with the bat, and convert that into a hundred as well, which he did last year.

Cons: He is an Englishman, so his dry humour may not fit in well with the flamboyant Punjabi attitude. He’s also tall like the Big Ben, so he might have an unfair advantage when we play pool volleyball to unwind!

2. Carrom Ka Shaukeen - Ravichandran Ashwin

An off-spinner who has done India proud on multiple occasions. Ash is currently on the top of his game.

Pros: He is one of the smartest off-spinners I have ever seen and has done well in IPL consistently. He will surely give you four overs and will be a good value buy for any team.

Cons: If he comes to KXIP, we will have to teach him Punjabi, because he can only talk in English. His Hindi is not great either.

3. Is he ‘Dha-One’? - Shikhar Dhawan

A batsman and a flamboyant opener who has put away many-a bowlers.

Pros: Shikhar is one of the best openers India has produced in the shorter format. He suits KXIP perfectly, because he speaks a lot of Punjabi, and I love his celebrations too!

Cons: We aren’t sure if we can get a Basanti to please this Gabbar!

4. Gujarati Naashta - Faf du Plessis

Exceling in all formats of the game, Faf du Plessis would be an asset!

Pros: Every team would love to have someone like du Plessis in their side, because he is a good player, and also South Africa’s captain.

Cons: He is a Protean, so he might end up eating everyone else’s proteins before a gym session!

5. Y U Hate Bowlers? - Chris Gayle

There are no words that haven’t been used to describe this man from the Caribbean Islands before.

Pros: He is one of the most dangerous batsman after Sehwag and can level any opposition.

Cons: He is very stiff, so he doesn’t bend much or move much.

6. K-K-K-K-Kieron…? - Kieron Pollard

Need some top-quality finishing or athletic fielding? Call Pollard! Will KXIP give him a ring?

Pros: I think Pollard is one of the best middle-order finishers. He can hit a six in Mumbai, and the ball will reach Mohali!

Cons: He is too tall, plus he needs to work on his celebrations a bit.

7. Jee Lalchaye, Raha-Ne Jaaye - Ajinkya Rahane

The Gen X Mr Dependable, Rahane brings solidity and calm to the batting order.

Pros: He has been a very consistent opener in IPL and is one of the best human beings I have ever met.

Cons: He is too shy! He needs to open up a lot more if he wants to play for KXIP.

8. Fast Irfan Pathan - Mitchell Starc

Pace, swing, and a fiery demeanour – Starc has all the goods to intimidate the best of opponents.

Pros: I think he is the best fast bowler at the moment in world cricket. He can pick up wickets at will.

Cons: He doesn’t have a beard or a moustache, so he will need to grow one and wear a turban if he comes to KXIP!

9. Stage Name: DJ Champion - Dwayne Bravo

He bowls it slow, but he hits it fast! Does cricket’s DJ make Sehwag go, “Bravo”?

Pros: He is a great all-rounder, who always does well with the ball in the last six overs all over the world.

Cons: Mr DJ did not include my name in his song!

10. India Ka Batman - Gautam Gambhir

A proven captain, and one of IPL’s belligerent run-getters, who wouldn’t want Gauti in their side?

Pros: He is a very good opener and captain, and he is the reason KKR won twice.

Cons: His name is Gambhir, so he needs to show a smile on his face during the IPL.

11. Hasan Maan Jaayega? - Shakib Al Hasan

A premium all-rounder hailing from Bangladesh, his wily bowling and intelligent batting have flummoxed opposition teams way too many times!

Pros: I think he is one of the best all-rounders currently, especially in Test cricket. Any team would be lucky to have him on their side.

Cons: His action is weird. It seems like he is dancing a lot, and always going here and there.

12. Should we call him Ex-Well? - Glenn Maxwell

Making a mockery of bowlers is his game, Glenn Maxwell is his name!

Pros: Maxwell is a unique talent who can win you matches single-handedly with his batting and fielding. He is also very helpful with the ball.

Cons: Though God gave him a lot of talent and skills, he gave him very little brains!

13. Jadon Se Mazboot - Joe Root

Living up to his name, Joe Root’s hobby is to stay rooted to the crease and score BIG!

Pros: I think he is the best English batsman at the moment and is capable of playing seam and spin equally well.

Cons: Since it is his first year, he might get teased by fellow players, like new students living in a hostel. So, I hope he is ready for that.

14. Paaji Har-Bhajan Singh Karte Hai! - Harbhajan Singh

A true Punjabi at heart, and a veteran spinner par excellence, will Harbhajan come home and represent KXIP?

Pros: I think Bhajji is one of the best off-spinners this game has ever seen. He is a fun guy on and off the field too.

Cons: Put him in any situation, and he will always pull a long face!

15. Singh is King! - Yuvraj Singh

Someone who can change the course of the game, and also knows how to never give up.

Pros: He is one of the most talented left-handed batsman after Brian Lara, and is a proven match winner on numerous occasions.

Cons: Sabki achi nakal karta hai! Kabhi kabhi samajh nahi aata, ki Yuvraj hai ki koi aur.

16. William Da Puttar - Kane Williamson

One of the best batsman in world cricket at the moment, Kane Williamson is a Kiwi who flies in all formats!

Pros: Nobody thought that Kane Williamson could succeed in T20, but he is a very good and consistent player. Whatever success New Zealand has had, is because of him and his captaincy.

Cons: His name reminds me of the wrestler, Kane, aur woh bada hi darawna hai!